IRMA

Irma

For those of you who have been living under a rock in recent days, Irma is a hurricane. And not just any hurricane. She is packing a wallop the strength of which is seldom seen in the U.S.  She is making millions homeless and causing IDP's (internally displaced persons) of so many.

There are a couple of thoughts and feelings rambling 'round this ol' noggin. I am worried for those who have to leave their homes. I am disheartened by those who choose to stay. Perhaps the age-old delusion of indestructibility is permeating the heads of those who think they will be amongst the 'safe' ones.

And those IDP's?  They will have many stories to tell. Maybe even a newfound kinship and empathy for refugees coming to America for a safe haven. Maybe, in sharing their stories of being violently usurped from their homes into unfamiliar territory, they can affect some change in the way immigrants are received. And, no, 'natural' disaster does not rate equally with wars and hunger and displacement by man-made disaster. But it offers an inkling of how it feels to be given the choice of being killed or leaving home to seek refuge in a foreign place.

Irma herself is chaos. Do you wonder where the chaos originates? I believe she is a physical manifestation of all the pain the earth is suffering because of people who continue to hate, to push away and to desecrate, not only the earth but her billions of souls.

When the energy of the people so full of anger and fear accumulates and gathers power, a storm - one might say 'the perfect storm' - is nature's own response. It is her seeking to protect herself. And this gathering of energies has made a tangible and powerful entity of hate.

Irma has materialized the state of being in which we find ourselves in 2017. She has made a clear and powerful statement of the fact that we must change. Our country's  fear driven citizenry must realize and change behaviors.

No! I am not saying that the hurricane is washing clean the surface of our land: of wiping out the hate-mongers. There will be too many innocent and benevolent souls lost to say that. I am simply stating the fact that energy causes change. And this time the change is violent.

On a personal level, I have experienced this manifestation of power and pain in recent weeks. For several days in a row, an intense pain in the center of my crown has awakened me. This is the chakra that connects us to spirit/universal good/at-one-ment. This is the place where energy flows up and out. And mine has been severely impaired because the chaotic energies all around me are out of kilter and are disrupting the flow.

I have also seen it in people around me. Some very dear and near and some far away and known only peripherally. I have felt the pain in their minds and in their emotions.

I have a page on FB called "Let's Talk About Suicide and Mental Health". From time to time I get messages from folks who need some help. My response is to send the suicide hotline number to them and to question them about support groups they may not have thought of contacting. I stay online with them as long as they want and this has yielded some positive results.

Not three weeks ago though. This time I got a private message from a young man in Canada. Far, far from me. He was not only contemplating suicide but seemed to be planning to kill someone else before that. He asked if I thought there was a judgment after death and what would happen if he escaped the human retribution for murder. A little out of my pay grade (so to speak).

So I went back and forth with him for several days straight and when he would not respond to my questions as to whom it was he wanted to kill, I called the Canadian Police and reported as many facts as I could.

I did not want to do that. I did not want to 'rat' on a kid who needed help and who was asking me for it. Yet I could not let someone die if there was a chance he was serious and I could at least report it. Therefore, I did.

I had even tracked down a relative in the same province as him and asked her to check up on him. She said she does not associate with him and gave me the number of the police. Duh!

I don't know what happened as far as the police. There has been no follow up from them. I doubt they had enough to go on to locate the kid. I did, however, receive a message just last week from the young man saying he really appreciated all the help I had given him. I am still wondering what he feels I did. Nevertheless, something changed his mind. I am grateful for that.

Next, a very close friend confided that she was having a breakdown and felt suicidal. This is a strong, independent woman who prides herself on controlling her own fate. But she was at a loss. I listened to her. I offered to take her to a professional. I did energy work on her. She told me later that when I did that she could actually breathe for the first time in ages.

She was pulling out of this 'slump' when her husband was diagnosed with a serious disease and withheld the info causing a huge rift in their marriage. He almost moved out because he was in such pain and did not know how to share it. When he did open up about it, they became much closer and they are now recommitted to each other.

Last Saturday a good friend texted me that she needed help. She has a history of attempts at suicide. So, when I could not get her on the phone, I hurried to her place. She had initially called to find someone to take her dog so she could kill herself. What we did instead was to go to the behavioral health clinic she had been admitted to before. We got her re-admitted. 

She is doing better and ready to go home soon. It was scary. I puppy sat for a few days while she recouped and, while it was fun having the little critter around, it was sad because of the reason she was staying with us.

I had dinner the other night with another friend who confided that she too had thought about ending her life. She is not now actively thinking that, but it was hard to hear her so despondent.

I truly feel that the chaos in our world is causing people to literally 'freak-out'. It is taking away hope and security. People feel at a loss as to how to respond to that chaos. I am working on it myself.

A dear friend says that the people are being drawn to me because I am a "soul-catcher", a shaman of sorts. It is apparently my job, at least right now, to be a safe and sacred place for those lost souls to anchor and keep afloat until the storm abates.

I am glad to be that. Yet I am sorry that it is needed. I am heartsick about our world.

Everyone can be a part of saving us though. 

Every candle - both figurative and literal - that is lighted in the hearts and homes of compassionate people everywhere will lead the way to healing. Call me naive or gullible or Pollyanna (as I have so often been): I do see the light. And I am willing to hold it up for others.

Just remember that I may need relighting now and again. Moreover, if I wander away for a little while, it is to replenish my own larder of strength and well-being.

Peace.

Linda

Concerto

It sounds as though a bell is chiming 'neath the sea.
Each wave sends a different tone up to the surface.
She takes it as a sign of all the little things she's missed.

Her life is like the waves in that ocean as it tosses
Songs and chants and music;
Symphonies demanding.

Now claimed as background for her remaining
moments.

'Bear' in the road

we were on our way to a retreat, M.E. and i. the pick up truck in front of us was carrying a puppy in its bed, attached as it were to something in the bed by a leash. that leash was not strong enough to hold his curiosity and he managed to jump out of the bed. where he dangled for a few minutes, hitting the side of the truck, back and forth, until the leash gave way and the puppy landed in the middle lane of hwy 287. where he lay, helpless to move, to avoid the oncoming traffic.
his human family did not notice the incident. M.E. and i did - she pulled over and covered her eyes when she saw what was about to happen as he went over the bed wall. that's when i looked (though she told me not to) and saw him land.
we decided to do a brief ceremony over the poor, dead pup. so she pulled to the shoulder close to where he lay and we got out wondering how to get him from the highway to the shoulder where we planned to pray and make note of his transition. we got out of the car and stood for a minute, each of us not wanting to do what we each knew we were being called to do.
then the puppy raised his head and looked at us! such a hopeful look too. he was alive and he knew that we were going to help.
i follow what spirit tells me to do - that is the only explanation i have for this next part.
i stepped out into the lane closest to the shoulder and held up my hands saying calmly (in a voice that was not at all loud), "you all need to stop now please." i know the expression on my face must have conveyed what i was feeling - that it was urgent.
and if i did not so strongly believe in the power of intention and that God is surrounding me always with protection and love, i would never have done this.
and all the cars stopped. a young man got out. by then i was fully in the right lane and pointed to the animal telling the man we wanted to get him out of harm's way. he picked him up and gently brought him to the shoulder of the hwy, laying him down away from the traffic. then he left.
and the next 2 'angels' arrived; one came to help comfort him and the other called the nearest vet to tell them that we had no money but we had rescued this little guy and the vet said bring him in a.s.a.p.
we patted him and checked out his injuries which appeared pretty severe - head and leg mainly. he, himself, remained calm as did everyone who came up to assist. then his 'family' drove up - they had gone several miles before realizing the dog was gone. and the young man was very distraught. turns out they had just gotten him the day before and he was actually the man's wife's pup.
as he checked him out and the others got a blanket for him, we told him that the vet was expecting him. when the fellow called his name M.E. and i looked at each other and i said 'what did you call him?' Bear. the puppy's name was Bear.
for those who don't know, my 'medicine' name and the name i use in many situations is Bear. yeah. Serendipity...might be a good name too. 2 bears found each other in such a potentially tragic incident.
the little Bear and his folks headed off to the vet's and we -slowly and a bit dazed - got back into the car. for a bit we just sat. since we had no way to follow up, we do not know how Bear is doing. and, as there are so many potentialities, i am choosing the one in which he survives and lives a long, happy life. and he rides in the CAB of the truck now.
when i look back and see the event and watch myself stepping out into traffic like that, i have many emotions - one thought is 'are you crazy'? i also get a really pleasant, warm feeling in my heart.
we went on to have a wonderful retreat and i know i saw it through different eyes. the theme was "Compassion". of course.

Andy's story

while i worked at the little pre-school i was privileged to witness and be a part of soooo many miracles (i can not think of another word to describe them)...i know some folks call synchronicity, 'coincidence'. i do not believe in coincidence. and that's ok that we may not agree; i just want to share my amazing life with you.

i met Andy when his mom brought him to us for a 'trial' day at school. the 4 year old had already been dismissed, kicked out, refused admission to several facilities and mom was very much at the end of her resources and nerves. when i first saw him he was running awkwardly towards the playground where my class was playing. and my first thought was 'oh it's Michael'.

now my boss had told me earlier that ANDY would be trying out my class. and of course when she told me he had been shuffled around so my heart opened to him. mom thanked us and said she fully understood if we had to call her to come get him. i touched her arm and said 'he'll be ok - don't worry'. her face changed just a tad and a few of lines smoothed out.

Andy had been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome - a sort of cousin to Autism but with it's own little quirks too. he was loud and boisterous and definitely a challenge to keep up with...but children (especially those whose boundaries and filters are 'different') pick up on truth so quickly and they really do know when they are safe.

Andy had to be reminded frequently of the rules and it was obvious that he was trying his hardest to follow them.

I was the one with the odd problem as i kept calling him Michael. he would just look at me and smile when i apologized. i asked the boss if she knew his middle name or any details and she had nothing other than emergency info - i think she did not really expect him to stay. we had worked together for a long time so i don't know why she would doubt that i would accept him into the fold.

anyway when mom arrived to pick him up he was reluctant to leave - he had had a great day (i was exhausted). mom was surprised when we told her that he was welcome at our school...literally close to tears.

and i just had to know - i told her i had been calling him Michael all day and before i could ask she said ' that's his middle name'. that made our connection that much more meaningful...like we had known each other a long time.

after Andy had been with us a few weeks he and i were coming up with ideas to help him calm himself when he got upset. i took him through a guided meditation using my hands to glide along his energy field and suggesting he see the color blue wrapping round him and loving him and he said, "Ms Linda, do you mean God?" of course i cried and he hugged me.

one day we were getting down for nap on the mats and Andy, moving too fast again, bashed his forehead against the door facing, hard. i immediately put one hand behind his head and the other right on the bruise that was already appearing. and Andy was very still, absorbing the light. then he said 'i think it's gone now'. i removed my hand and there was no hint of injury.

it was so hard to leave these little folks when i was recruited for another agency. Andy was particularly difficult. his mama told me that last day that in Andy's whole life there were 3 people who gave him unconditional love: herself, his granny, and me. i was speechless.

what do you do when angels come into your life? you treat them just like you do everyone else. and sometimes you recognize them right away, other times they slip in and out so quickly you miss it. i guess the best thing is to keep all your senses open and ready ... and be aware of the unconditional love that Spirit has for you.

butterfly

it was my custom, back when i worked at a small pre-school that had a large playyard with many trees and little hills, to spend a portion of my lunch break meditating in that yard. sometimes sitting with poetry for inspiration. other times i would simply sit, close my eyes or just focus on one of the tiny wildflowers. often i would do walking meditations - that is just walking the perimeter of the yard quietly soaking in the nature and letting my mind be still. on one of these walks i came upon a really special butterfly.
she was perched vertically on the trunk of a tree and her wings, while not spread, appeared to be fluttering in an energy dance. i slowly and respectfully approached - the feeling those wings stirred in me was too much to ignore. i put my finger out tentatively to within an inch or so of her wings and the life-force that she emitted was tremendous. i felt the 'bzzz'ing go into my finger and up into my arm. i felt it in my heart.
i think we both became aware - the turquoise butterfly and i - at the same instant that we were very close to each other. i felt honored that i was given that opportunity. her instinct to flee though changed our connection and she flew away.
i sat on the bench under that tree and prayed a gratitude prayer that i had been gifted with that experience. and then i closed my eyes and went, without thought or forced intention, into a deep meditative state. i was keenly aware of where i was and i was very awake. i was also taking a beautiful trip.
i saw myself on the butterfly. i do not know whether she had grown to my size or i had shrunk to hers. i lay on her body with my arms outstretched on her wings. my head rested on hers. my feet were together at her other end. and we soared. at first it was like a wonderful ride on a mystical plane and then we became one. we melded together so that i did know (and did not care) if i was the butterfly or the butterfly was me. it did not matter.
we gracefully glided over the little yard and went up and over the fence watching as the school building became smaller and smaller. and i felt a peace i had not before felt. i felt that complete connection to all that was, is and ever will be.
and then i was back on my bench with a renewed spirit. and a butterfly song in my heart.